Newest Fire fighter Jokes.

Two firefighters were hunting on their day off when one of them fell to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes were rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “I think my friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.”

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"

Q: What do cops and firemen have in common?

A: They both wanna be firemen!                                 (sent in by Matt H of Raleigh, North Carolina)

A man who worked at a fire hydrant factory was always late for work.
When confronted by his boss the man explained:
"You can't park anywhere near this place!"

Q. what does EMS stand for?

A. Earning Money Sleeping                           (sent in by Dave Stuart from Peotone IL)

A couple of Columbus Fire 2 house firefighters are out in the woods hunting when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services.He gasps to the operator: “I think my friend is dead! What can I do?”

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?"

There were those three guys, a priest, a doctor and an engineer, and they were playing golf. But the group before them was extremely slow and at each hole they waited hours. Finally the priest asked around, why was that other group was so slow? He was told that they were very courageous firemen who saved the golf course a couple of years ago from a terrible fire, in which they all lost their sight. As a proof of appreciation they were given the right to play on the course whenever they wanted. They like that a lot, but being blind they are just not too good at hitting the ball, let alone finding it after it's hit.

The priest said, "Oh my this is terrible. Tonight I'll say a little prayer for these courageous souls." The doctor heard that and said "Don't worry. I'll send them to a friend of mine, he's an ophtalmologist and he works wonders." The engineer said "Wait. Why can't they just play at night?"

If a rural fire department made joining the fire fighting mandatory, and to avoid serving you moved to the city.

Would that make you a backdraft dodger?

There were two ladies.
Both happily married and both very attractive.
They were faithful to their husbands.

Every so often they have a ladies night where they both go out and have some drinks and go dancing, everything you would think of on a ladies night out. Hours went by and they decided it's time to head home.

They decided to walk home both knowing that they have drank way to much and a little walk would be fun. As they walk home, one of the ladies said that she has to go to the restroom. The second lady agrees but didn't know where the closest restroom was. They both saw a cemetery and thought that they could pop a squat right there.

The first lady bent over and peed but didn't have anything to wipe herself. So she used her underwear and tossed them to the side. The second lady peed by a bush, and not wanting to throw a good pair of underwear away, she lookd around for something. She saw a wreath with a ribbon on it and decided to use it. They continued home and went to bed.

The next day the husband of the two ladies met for a beer and said that they need to put and end to this girls' night out. The first husband said that his wife came home without any panties on. The second husband said that's nothing, my wife came home with a ribbon hanging out of her panties saying "We will miss you, THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!"

sent in by: Justin H of McAllen, Texas

Give me a sentence about a public servant", said the teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked.

"Sure", said the young student confidently. "It means 'carrying a child'.

This could be embarrassing!! If firefighters were worked at ad agenciesAD 2

Scare the shit out of your friends with this one...

Reverend John, Pastor of the largest Southern Church in town, and a fire chief both died and arrived at the pearly gates simultaneously at which point the Chief was immediately passed on through. Reverend John immediately raised a hue and cry stating that he knew the man to be totally sacrilegious, a downright reprobate and a discredit to the human race as opposed to himself who always lived a pious life by preaching the Word, saving souls, and generally caring for his fellow man.

Saint Peter retorted, "My dear John, your case has to be examined more fully. We have to look at the facts surrounding your arrival completely before admitting you to heaven. After all, during the many years that you preached the Word of God from your pulpit most people fell asleep. While the chief drove his fire engine, everybody prayed !"

You've got to be a good swimmer...